This is an updated list after my triumphant 2009 NYC Marathon finishing time of 3:38:46. I not only crushed Ryan Reynolds' time from the 2008 NYC Marathon but beat a lot of other celebrities along the way.
1) Ryan Reynolds - 3:50:22 - (2008 NYC Marathon) Phew!! Happy that I beat that time. Would have been mighty embarrassing to come up short after all that media attention. When you think about it, what would Ryan have run if he didn't wear the damn pants. Next time Ryan...wear the running shorts like everyone else...oh...and lose the gloves too!!
2) Oprah - 4:29:20 - (Marine Corp Marathon 1994) Kept saying "Can't get beat by Oprah. CAN'T get beat by Oprah"! Look at the picture. She's freaking power walking and I only beat her by 13 seconds in my very first marathon. Since then, I've crushed her time 3 times
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3) Edward Norton - 3:48:01 - (2009 NYC Marathon) For a little guy (he weighs 40 pounds less than me), I really kicked his ass. He even trained with Masai Warriors. In this photo Edward is saying "shhhhhhhhh don't tell everyone that Tim Reid is THAT much faster than me".
4) P-Diddy AKA Puff Daddy AKA Sean Combs - 4:14:54 - (NYC Marathon 2003) - Every breath you take..gasp, gasp, gasp...Sorry puffy. Or should I say, huffy puffy. Although, what can you expect with all of that partying and Ciroc Vodka.
5) Al Gore - 4:58:25 - (Marine Corp Marathon 1997) - Al Gore "To Do List": "Invent the Internet", Save the planet, run slower than Tim Reid.
6) George W Bush - 3:44:52 - (1993 Houston Marathon) - Dub-ya had a great time but I still beat him. I guess I shouldn't feel too good about this beating based on the quotes below. Also, he must have had a hard time with the marathon training program. "Fartlek...heh, heh, heh...this thing says Fart...I can do THAT"!!
- "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah." --at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001
- "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." --Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008
- "There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on --shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." --Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
- "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." --Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
- "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." --to FEMA director Michael Brown, who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his handling of the Hurricane Katrina debacle, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005
- "You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." --to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005
7) Sarah Palin - 3:59:36 - (2005 Humpy Marathon) - I'm on a political kick here but WHAT THE HELL IS THE HUMPY MARATHON?!?!?! Wasn't that what her daughter and Levi were doing that resulted in a little bundle of teen pregnancy?
Palin">8) Mario Lopez - 5:41:41 - (Boston Marathon 2002) - Happy to say that I beat Slater by over two hours!! Mario is in shape and I kicked his ass in all four of my marathons. He must have been practicing his Dancing with the Stars moves as he was running. "Run 2 - 3, Step 2 -3, Twirl 2 -3". Whatever the below move is, it definitely hurt his marathon time.
9) Katie Holmes - 5:29:58 - (NYC Marathon 2007) - Thank God I beat her!! Or should I say thanks Scientology I beat her. Well, doesn't matter but why are all of these celebrities wearing pants during a marathon???
10) Will Farrell - 3:56:12 - (2003 Boston Marathon) - Need I say more...
11) Alanis Morissette - 4:28:45 - (2009 NYC Marathon) - "Isn't it Ironic"... how smoked her time!!! Talk about irony...she also just happens to be Ryan Reynolds' former fiancee. Man, if they were married I would have crushed the entire family!! Damn Scarlett...
12) David Lee Roth - 6:04:43 (NYC Marathon 1987) - Seriously! Over 6 hours. I think it must have been the tight spandex pants holding him back! Look at that outfit...LOOK AT THAT OUTFIT!!!!
13) Ali Landry - 5:41:41 - (Boston Marathon 2002) - Doritos girl in the early 2000's. Same finishing time as Mario Lopez. NOW I know why it took him so long to finish!!
14) Meredith Baxter - 4:08:30 - (1982 NYC Marathon) -The cute mom from Family Ties Pretty good time. Nothing to rip on her about...
15) Anthony Edwards - 3:55:40 - (2003 Chicago Marathon) - Best know as the doctor from ER. "Get me an adreneline shot STAT! Cause Tim Reid's kicking my behind"
16) Chef Gordon Ramsey - 4:05:02 - (2009 London Marathon) - Best known for his Hell's
Kitchen reality show and also for dropping major F bombs and making grown men cry.
17) Sal Masekela - Around 5 hours - (2009 NYC Marathon) - Daily 10 co-host set out to beat Diddy's time from the 2003 NYC Marathon in his own celebrity beat down attempt. However, he was the one who took the beat down. But, he did it for charity so it's all good.
18) Freddie Prinze, JR - 5:50:49 (LA Marathon) Does he still count? I mean I think he was most famous for this "popular" movie..By the time Freddie finished, I was on my third beer at Spring Lounge...
19). Kerri Strug - 4:12:06 - (1999 Houston Marathon) - I beat an Olympic gymnast!! However, since she is only 4'8", she actually ran 201,475 steps vs my 138,435 steps. For those that don't know math, there are actually 138,435 feet in 26.2 miles but she is very small so her stride is shorter therefore, more steps. However, she only weighs 88 lbs so she's 120 lbs less than me. not sure who had the advantage...me or her...Anyway, I beat her by 3 minutes or so.
20) Buster Martin - Over 10 hours (2008 London Marathon) - Boy, I really smoked this chap...10 hours!!! My goodness. Wait, don't know who Buster Martin is??? Well....this guy finished the London Marathon as the oldest person ever to finish a marathon at either 94 or 101. I think he forgot when he was born. He not only wore pants but the full matching wind breaker! Even better!! He's drinking a beer at the finish. Buster is my new hero!!
